Advice 2

One day, the president of Toastmasters Club came to me to ask me to participate in the weekly meetings. I had stopped doing so after I finished 20 speeches.

I had never felt comfortable with Toastmasters. It's not the public speaking that I have trouble with. It is the structure and advices that I have trouble with.

I am curious and inquisitive. I prefer to be self-taught. I learn best by exploration and experimentation. I need a lot of freedom to explore and play. I prefer to be a free-range chicken rather than a penned up chicken.

An environment that is highly structured and has many rules stifles my creativity and growth. The first Toastmasters meeting gave me that very restrictive feeling. I managed to stick to it for over a year. I don't think I can stick to it any more.

The president of the club did not give me the freedom I needed. In fact, he did exactly the opposite. He said, I should do this and that. He said it's not fair that after I had received my awards, I stopped attending.

I also told him that I preferred to go for a walk outside instead of attending meetings. I need to step away from my work. He said I could step away from my work by going to the meetings.

He gave me a long speech about how to prioritize things in my life so that I could fulfill my commitments.

I didn't know how to tell him or anyone that this thing didn't fit my personality. I didn't know how to tell him that I didn't want unsolicited advices from someone who didn't understand what I needed. I didn't know how to tell him that what he needed was not the same as what I needed.

I need people to listen and understand me, and to respect and appreciate me for who I am, instead of expecting me to be who they want me to be.